I do this thing sometimes where I get super involved with a project for a day, or a week, or even a month sometimes, and then I totally abandon it for something else. Some would call this being "flaky", and frankly that's exactly what I am. I cancel plans with friends when I'm too anxiety-ridden to leave the house, I start book series and never finish them (one day, Hitchhiker's Guide, I will finish you!), and sometimes I forget to text or call people back because I'm too flaky to remember other people exist. Being the way that I am, I'm surprised I've even made it this far in life.
But that's exactly why I decided two days ago that I'm going to participate in National Novel Writing Month this year. If you don't know about NaNoWriMo, it's a big thing that takes up all of November across the whole world. Your challenge is to write 50,000 words. They don't even have to be good words. It doesn't have to be a good story. You just have to write. To accomplish this, you have to sacrifice a lot of time. Luckily (I say that with a laugh) for me, I'm unemployed, and happen to have plenty of time on my hands.
I decided that maybe this year will be my year. 2012 has treated me really well so maybe I can do something good for myself by committing to something and accomplishing it. Even if I only write half of that 50K it'll be more than I've ever solidly written in my life and I'll be proud of myself.
I used to write a lot, back when I was 13 and I thought my story about vampire demons with blood red hair an magical cannot-die powers was super cool. I realize now I am not cool at all and that story was really lame, but when I was writing, even though I sucked, I was happy. I loved putting words on paper or in a Word document and I loved watching the pages fill with my imagination. For a very long time I've wanted to capture that again but somehow I lost the will. I lost the drive.
Here is my drive. Here is my will. I'm going to do my best. I'm going to throw my whole self into this and dammit, I'm going to do something I'll be proud of. I'm not going to flake out of this like I do everything else.
So wish me luck. And don't ask what the story is about because every time I talk about it I feel stupid, but I'll say that I'm trying to break every mold without being annoying with it. So...here goes. It all starts tomorrow.
Also, a life update I guess, while I'm here. Things with Jeff are great, things with our apartment are going great (minus the fact that we haven't unpacked) and I'm only one step away from being able to get my ID and once I have that I'll be able to start job searching. So life is swell. The end!