Sunday, June 3, 2012

I'm Sick, So You Get A Blog Post

Yeah. I woke up this morning feeling like there was a burning lesion in my throat and ignored it and drank some water, hoping maybe it was just from dehydration during the night. But then it didn't go away and then got way worse and then I stabbed myself in the eye because I really fucking hate being sick. Ask anyone who has ever had to deal with me, online or off, when I'm sick. I'm fucking terrible. I'm all moody and weird and delirious and the only good part of being sick is when I attempt to talk and I sound all stuffy and adorable and people go "awww you're so cute with your delirium". Yes. Thanks.

PS. My mom gave me some Zicam so I can hopefully fend off this fucking cold sooner (my entire life, any time I've been sick I stay this sick for months. it's awful and no one likes it) and it kind of tastes like a moose's asshole in the last bit of it dissolving and the feeling of eating foot powder stays on your teeth but I can feel it working only 20 minutes later. Might be some placebo effect shit, but even if my brain tricks me into being better, I'm still...better, right? So I guess I'm telling you to try Zicam when you have a massive monster plague/cold because it might work. You're welcome for the advertisement, Zicam. You're welcome.

Anyway, so I really suck at being a blogger. And a blog reader. But the last couple weeks I've been what my mother calls "maybe-not-depression-but-definitely-chemically-unbalanced-somehow" and what always gets me through is bloggers. You. All of you. Because you're awesome.

And you know what else is awesome? The fact that this Friday I am going to this bookstore to this event to meet MY FUCKING HERO. Yes. I am so excited. I thought I wasn't going to be able to go, because the only person who loves me enough to go with me to something like this is Jeff and he's been working Friday nights for the last forever. But he has this one off. And we're going. And honestly, I've known about it for a few days but it's kind of just hit me and I want to throw up a little. Partly from excitement and partly because I've never done something like this before and being in a crowd of people who are most likely 100% awesome but are probably as socially horrific/anxiety-riddled as I am (birds of a feather and all) is going to be hard and probably really awkward. Like, a part of my brain wants me to like, write my blog's url on my arm or something so it can say for me "I'm a blogger too and I love everybody and we need to all be friends right now but I'm too dumb to figure out how to say words to strangers so I'm just going to nod and smile at you when you say words at me".

But I don't think any of that is socially acceptable and would look like I'm looking for people to read my blog. Which I always am. Bloggers always are hoping people will read their stuff and like it, even if some of us can't admit it. If we didn't want people to love us, we wouldn't blog publicly. We'd just keep journals in secret corners of our bedrooms and bathrooms that no one knows about. (I have three.)

Anyway, I'm hoping this post 1) makes sense because me + fever = weird shit that I look at the next day and go "What the fuck? Was I high?" And you know what? I might be.

You know I have a bad fever/ADD when I make a 1) and I forget completely that I had two points. My 2) was going to be that I hope it reaches any people in the New England area that are coming to Jenny's Brookline event this Friday and if you are, let's spend this week becoming friends. Okay? Okay.

PS. Am I the only person who totally flips out when one of their earbud rubber things falls off somewhere and you don't know where? Because that just happened and I almost flipped a shit. But I found it. It's important that I never lose one because my ear holes are two different sizes and that shit matters in earbud land. Alright, I'm cutting myself off now because I'm not sure what's going on anymore. I hope everybody has a good week/life/everything.


  1. Aww I hope you feel better soon and I hope that's why you were crying! Sickness will most certainly pass. If you want some really kind readers on your blog, pick your fav post and link up with this week. You can join the competition or join the "hangout" grid. Either way i think people would enjoy your scribblings.

    Get better!!

  2. Carrie, you are the sweetest thing and I want to kiss your face. It wasn't, but the sad part is I was crying for what I'm pretty sure was absolutely no reason at all, but I guess sometimes everybody needs to get it out. I don't cry often anymore so when it comes, it comes like an explosion.

    I will definitely check that out though when I'm in the mood for figuring out websites. It seriously took me 2 weeks to figure out Technorati...I have to amp myself up for the next one, ha.

  3. If you have spent any time at all on my blog, you know that I, too, suffer from depression. My life is fucking fabulous-- and yet-- that fucking darkness still comes for me sometimes.

    You aren't alone, sugar. I sometimes wonder, if us bloggers actually do this to help combat that goddamn depression.

  4. Ah, probably just crying from all the moments you should have been balling for and just never got around to it, lol.

    Sounds good. What you do is click on the plus sign on the website. Get a button (yeahwrite 60) put it on the bottom of your blog (HTML view). Then copy your blogpost URL and on Monday night (9pm pacific or 1201am eastern which would be tuesday lol)And then submit it when the website "opens" for submissions for the times I posted above.

    If you feel like it that is :)