Tuesday, September 6, 2011

The Tales of Washington

Odessa: That is what I will do. Buy you the "Lots and Lots of Jets and Planes DVD and also a clock that I will change the face to be all potatoes.

Odessa: Oh my God. I check (city name) news and it says "cold spring weather delays pear harvest, makes fruit smaller". That is headline news around here.
Me: What, do you live in fucking Canada? In Washington we have small fruit, chuckle chuckle y'all. ...because Canada is known for their tiny fruit...? I don't know. I'm tired.
Odessa: Our pears are smaller than average, put this on the telly! There's a fucking spirit demon in my backyard and the news is about pears. And the weather is "smoke". Smoke is the weather. And a ways down yonder in Puyallup, cows invade the local 7-11. News.
Me: Oh my God. I'm moving to Washington. 99% for you, 1% for the badass cows and Yakima.

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