Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Colorado Doesn't Have Squirrels

Lately (the past few months) I've been considering the possibility of going to visit Odessa who, as some of you may have gathered, is my best friend. Earlier, we were talking about it.

Me: The furthest I've ever been from here is New Jersey.

Odessa: I've been to Colorado twice. And then Idaho. The end.

Me: Oh my God, the two seemingly least exciting states in the whole country.

Odessa: I got sunburned in Colorado. In the snow. There were rabbits. Just...wild ones. At the mall parking lot. Like they were squirrels.

Me: You don't even know how happy that makes me and I don't even know why.

Odessa: It made me happy too, like a six year old. BUNNIES? BUNNIES, HERE AT THE MALL WITH PEOPLE IN PUBLIC? PUBLICLY? People were like um, yes, have you never seen a rabbit before? And I was like YES, IN PETCO?! NOT AT THE MALL. And they were in backyards too. Just...BUNNIES. Then they (Colorado people) came here to visit and saw their first squirrels and were like YOU GUYS HAVE SQUIRRELS HERE?!

Me: Squirrels = bunnies in alternate universe land.

Odessa: Apparently. Watch as I go to Africa and squirrels = monkeys. Or rhinos or jaguars. And jaguar feeders with like, people on them.

On a separate note, someone I found awesome for a very long time apparently has discovered my existence and said I am hilarious which has made my life awesome tonight. My dear friend Megan of Megan Squared is awesome and hilarious and writes college papers about velociraptors. And gets graded for it. She's actually a blogger I look up to because she's so damn funny. So you should check her out. I tend to forget blogs exist for a while and then suddenly binge-read for a few days, and I'm currently binging on her blog and I actually can't stop laughing. Well, I stopped long enough to type up this post. Point is, if you need a laugh, she's good for it.



  1. First time we took our kiddo to NJ from Arizona and she saw squirrels in the trees she thought they were cats since she'd never seen those outdoor rats before.

  2. HIARL.

    ^Fail at typing "hilar." SIGH.

  3. "And jaguar feeders with like, people on them."


  4. You're hilarious. I love this.

    The college I went to had squirrels everywhere. I still offer up a silent nod to the little buddy who caused a campus-wide power outage and allowed me another 2 days of studying for a test.