Thursday, June 16, 2011

Because Nobody Likes A Bruised Banana

Odessa: One time, I opened the door, and it was my friend Betsy in a banana suit.

Me: ...Are you even joking?

Odessa: I am completely serious. I didn't even know she was coming over so I opened the door and there she was. A banana. I just stood there...And she laughed so hard she couldn't even walk. I think she fell on the way to the car. It was the best thing to ever happen. And I lived in an apartment so I know my neighbors saw a banana walking to my door and then falling. They must think I have some sex fetish and banana people come to my house. I cried. And then we went to the movies and she changed out of the banana suit in the car.

Me: Imagine what the passersby must have been thinking. A banana peeling itself. And the banana just emerges from the car in jeans and a shirt and is like "LET'S GO!"

Odessa: I told her to keep the banana suit on at the theater but her dad said no. Party pooper.

Me: That's lamer than a bruised banana.

Odessa: DING, IDEA. Wear a banana suit and paint on a black eye. Bruised banana. And black out some teeth. Domestic violence banana.

Me: Oh my God.


  1. A few things. First, I'm totally doing this banana suit thing. Second, I totally read your whole "about" page, and you should know that I started blogging for the same reasons that you did. Third, you're effing hilar. HILAR! It's bro-speak. (Hilarious...I don't know why I do this to myself. I should have just written "hilarious" to begin with, but at this point I've expended a lot of energy typing this increasingly long sentence and I'm reluctant to press delete. As long as I'm writing this though...hi, how are you? Fine? Good. Okay bye.)

  2. are totally my new hero. Let's speak bro-speak forever. PS I got elated when one of my blog heroes said I'm hilarious and now my ego is huge.

  3. Dude. The ego? IT NEVER GOES AWAY. Just kidding. But really. I'M GONNA GO UPDATE MY STATTY. AND MY PROFI PIC. IT'S GONNA BE RIDIC. AND SUCH. (Bro-speak. DUH.)

  4. It's 4:27 am and I'm sitting in my dark quiet house laughing so hard I'm crying. The dog is concerned. I think the kids and I need to get matching banana suits and go to the local nature park and walk. As if nothing is out of the ordinary....