Sunday, December 5, 2010

Another Phoning It In/Weird Texts Post

These are horribly uninteresting unless you're...well, me.

Odessa: I just imagined someone with a boat coming out of their forehead and walking all spazzy.

Odessa: Is that a frog in your pants, or do you just have a boner?

Odessa: I just imagined two square blocks humping.

Odessa: Let me share my girth with you.

Odessa: I watched Wishmaster. I KNOW WHAT YOU GENIES DO.

Odessa: Oh my God. This guy on TV was getting humped by a dolphin really hard and he was like HAHAHA YAYYYYY WHEEEE
Me: wtf. No, that is not YAY WHEEE. That is HELP ME I'M BEING RAPED BY A DOLPHIN

Odessa: happy time rainbow pony sprinkle yay death

Odessa: Crunchy eyelid soup

Odessa: suncat poopchips

Odessa: try our new and improved dinglydong gingerbeer. your dong will dingle like you're 16 again. and for the ladies, try our new lemonlime beercoochie.

Odessa: diddly gosh darn bonerjoner

Odessa: (discussing the premise of every Scooby-Doo episode being that the gang splits up, Shaggy and Scooby eat everything in sight, and somehow a haunted, abandoned house is stocked full of fresh food every single time) omg, that's like the Sevastopol of every episode everOH MY GOD iPOD WHAT THE FLYING FRANCE? I meant "description". WHO EVEN SAYS SEVASTOPOL IN CONVERSATION? Oh now it's red underlined. IS IT NOT EVEN A WORD? WHYYY

Odessa: When I tried to type "better" earlier it changed it to "Bette". Like I really use an outdated female name randomly in mid-conversation.

Odessa: POOTS, MOM. YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND.

Cate: My vagina is like a Big Mac. It's big, unhealthy for you, but everyone wants it. Hahahaha that's the worst analogy in the world and I thought of it in the shower.

Alex: I haven't seen a minority in forever...I feel deprived.

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