Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Why Yes, I Am Indeed Phoning It In

Here's another "fucking weird-ass texts I receive from my friends" post because I have nothing better to write about.

Odessa: I just had this image of a whale with derp eyes swimming upside-down making helicopter noises.

Odessa: Oh God, there's some show on TV about nudists. I just saw more butts than I ever wanted to see.

Odessa: I watched Kung-Fu Panda earlier and now I want to be a kung-fu action animal. Life sucks.

Odessa: I just imagined your house tipping over slowly and then crashing down on its side and you're sitting in your room which is somehow still there and the rest of your house is gone.

Odessa: Wouldn't it be great if we bled vanilla instead of yoo-hoo blood every month?

Odessa: The snuggie commercials are so dumb. They're like LOOK AT ALL THE THINGS I CAN DO IN MY SNUGGIE and they're hula hooping and juggling. What the fuck.

Odessa: Do octopi have bajingas?

Odessa: "Ma'am, you have something in your ear. Oh. It's my cock."

Odessa: I want to be a buffalo

Brett: Okay, so I stabbed someone and they just flickered and disappeared.

Catelyne: Sometimes I wish I was a herpe so I could see everybody's genitalia. It would be awesome. Free porn and board.


  1. Why do all my texts never make any sense out of context? XD