My mom went to volunteer at a function for my brother's school. Tonight they were having a spaghetti supper (whenever I think of spaghetti now all I can think of is "BASKETTI, MUTHAFUCKA!") to raise money so they can move the school to another building. Or something. I wasn't really listening. As I do. Mom wanted to volunteer to help make food or organize the tables or do something, but the girl that was in charge (who is no older than me, I might mention) bitched and complained "no, I can do this all myself thanks" and spent the whole day slaving over 1000 meatballs by herself. So when my mom got frustrated and went to take a walk she came back to find out the girl bitched about how my mom wasn't helping her.
Y'all, my mom is one of the most helpful people I've ever met. I mean, Judas Priest, she volunteered four hours of her only day off of work to go help when she didn't have to. How dare you yell at my mother and talk about her behind her back, you stupid cunt? Especially when you aren't letting her help. Stupid bitch. You are part of your own problem.
Anyway, so we still ended up going to the supper because we paid for tickets go to and I like meatballs and not making my own food.
Dad: Do you see that girl around here anywhere?
Mom: No. I don't know where she'd be right now. Probably yelling at someone.
Me: If you want, if she says anything, I can tell her the meatballs gave me herpes. I mean, the food's not bad, but I could say I've contracted a deadly disease from eating these meatballs and it's all her fault. Just to see if I could make her cry because she's stupid.
Mom laughed but she didn't say I could or couldn't do it. I only saw the girl once the whole night though so I didn't get to say anything, unfortunately.
I'm not generally a mean, confrontational person, but when you mess with my mom or you mess with my friends I get angry because that's not allowed.