Brett: What's up?
Me: Nothing. I'm with Cori. You?
Brett: I'm at work. It's just awful. Tell him I said hi.
Me: What are you doing texting at work?
Brett: I do what I want when I want.
Me: You rebel you.
Brett: I know, right?
Me: You are so rebellious and cool. How can I ever learn to be as cool as you?
Brett: Chicken pot pie. And lots of jogging.
Me: But I don't even like chicken pot pie. Or jogging. I'm doomed to be uncool forever.
Brett: There are ways around it. But most involve a grueling quest and slaying a dragon.
Me: I could handle that. It's still better than jogging.
Brett: The quest may involve some brisk walking and/or powerwalking.
Me: Fuck. I just can't win.